#MeToo

We all have our own story.

#MeToo. Media outlets have been swarming over Harvey Weinstein's long history of assault towards women in the film industry and once again, rape culture is the topic of conversation. Not because Harvey Weinstein is being exposed for the disgusting human that he is, but because rape and sexual assault is and continues to be joked about, minimized, or simply ignored. Men, media, society will jump to tell women that the problem is 'not that bad' or 'we're being overly dramatic' or 'it was just a compliment'. Or victim blame by asking: 'what was she wearing,' 'how much was she drinking', or 'was she leading him on'? This leads to victims who are  shamed into silence, allowing toxic men like Woody Allen, Chris Brown, Donald Trump, Bill Cosby, Bill O'Reilly, Casey Affleck, Roman Polanski, and R Kelly to continue through life, relatively unscathed, while their victims bear the burden. If a man is accused of sexual assault, he can check in to a rehab, lay low for a couple of months, hire an awesome PR person to spin the story and get back to their normal life relatively unscathed. The accuser on the other hand can expect to be called a liar, lose their job, have their entire life scrutinized in public, and have their life threatened.

Every story in the #metoo tag seemed to break down every argument a victim blamer would hurl at an accuser, in 140 words or less. Because rapists are less likely to be a hooded figure in a dark alley way and someone you know. Because they are our family members, friends, coworkers, spouses. Because your age, class, race, or education won't protect you. Not even your gender. Although I've focused on women up to this point, men can be victims too. In fact, Terry Crews, an actor whose picture is probably under the word body builder in the dictionary, was also a victim of Harvey Weinstein. Weighing in at 245 pounds and over six feet tall, this former NFL linebacker joined #metoo with his own story of assault.  Anyone can be harassed, raped, or assaulted and unfortunately, its more prevalent for the vulnerable in our society. The women, the poor, the disabled. The minorities, the prisoners, the undocumented. The children. 

The stories on Twitter, the statistics, the op-eds don't even begin to cover the amount of pain that victims are expected to shoulder. For every victim, for every survivor, that finds power in disclosing their trauma, there are many who don't. And we shouldn't ask them to. The responsibility shouldn't fall on us. We're still trying to heal. #MeToo 

If you're a survivor or know one, click here for resources or here if you want to anonymously submit your story. It's never too late to heal.