Self Care in the Time of Revolution (& Pandemic)

Jun 5

Jun 5 Self Care in the Time of Revolution (& Pandemic)

Woooooooooooooooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

How are you?

How are you really?

Because I know that I’m exhausted.

I somehow forgot how to do the things. I forgot how to work, I forgot how to disconnect from social media. I forgot how to fall asleep. Work. Sleep. Disconnect. I feel trapped in a state that I can only describe as… ?????

For the people who are new to self-care, it is a practice of ensuring that every aspect of one’s life is tended to. As a mental health advocate, I believe self-care should happen everyday. But what does that look like amidst a revolution? That’s amidst a pandemic? That’s amidst the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression? To put it lightly, things are weird.

We, the people, are changing the world right now. It’s going to take work but it’s also going to take time. Let’s start at the very beginning. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, before you can focus on and reach your highest potential, your most basic needs must be met. So this is bare bones, physical, emotional, and occupational self-care. If you’re feeling as discombobulated and detached after this year-long week, keep reading.

Physical

Drink something I’m not saying I’m a psychic or anything but I’ll bet money you’re dehydrated right now. Go drink a huge cup/bottle of water and then fill 5 more and place them strategically around your space. Bed, desk, couch, etc. Put it where you know you’ll need it
Eat something (literally anything!) If you’re not hungry but you haven’t eaten, think about what you used to eat when you were stressed before 2020. Maybe you cut it out in an effort to be healthy but if you haven’t eaten in a couple days, it’s time to bring in the twinkies. If you can’t
Sleep it off If it’s 7pm or later, take a melatonin and go to bed. Something happens after 7pm where you sit down then all of a sudden it’s 2 am. Do me a favor, go to sleep.

We’ve covered the absolute minimum basics of physical self care. There are so many more, but truth is I’m tired so we’re moving on to fulfilling emotional needs! If you’re black, 1) same and 2) all of the pain and anguish that comes with that has been laid to bare and you’re being asked to, once again, catch up all the people who were VERY late to the party, while the fabric of our country and also doing your job. It’s always been a lot but for me at least, this is the literal most it’s ever been.

Emotional

Spark some joy. Creating beautiful things out of pain is black culture. I know it’s so hard to detach right now but self care is SO important to the survival of your sanity and of this movement. Rest is resistance, just ask the Nap Ministry. So give yourself permission to feel joy. Here are things that helped me there this week.
Cry. You deserve it. You’ve been holding it in for so long. You deserve to feel the release of all that pent up emotion. These opened the floodgates.
1. Come up with a better way
2. Protest but have a plan

Occupational

If working during a literal pandemic wasn’t exhausting enough, now we’re fielding questions about how we are and how our non-black colleagues can support us. And like??? I don’t know?? How would I know how to completely dismantle the systematic racism that entrenched in corporate America and create an equitable place for employees? And you want me to do that on top of my 9-5? Because I know how frustrating it is to find words to express yourself (especially now), here’s a template that you can keep in your pocket to protect your peace.
“As you can imagine, it’s been a particularly difficult time for my community. I understand your feelings of sadness and horror, as they are omnipresent throughout the long history of police brutality. I appreciate your efforts to support Black employees but I, too, am unsure how to do so, as I can only speak to my experience. To that point, the first step is to have an open forum for employees to safely share their concerns and experiences directly with executives. There are professionals who are experts in this space who can help [Company Name] create a transparent and actionable plan to create change within the company as well as externally. This plan should include a framework that allows for safe, anonymous feedback as well as a cadence for accountability purposes”
And there you have it! Thanks for reading and please TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

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Jun 5, 2020

Self Care in the Time of Revolution (& Pandemic)

Jun 5, 2020

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@TheEllery

My face when my coworker says he’s feeling ‘so ADD right now’.🙄 This happened a month ago but I see a lot of people saying it now that they’re working from home. Having ADHD means SO much more than not being able to concentrate. 💩, I wish that was my only problem 😭. Fun Fact: There is a movement to rename ADHD/ADD to Executive Function Disorder which encompasses way more symptoms of ADHD that people forget about. Like low impulse control, disorganization, trouble planning and prioritizing, low frustration tolerance, rejection sensitivity, hyper focus, etc etc. So if you’re struggling with #WFH consider its because you’ve thrown out of your normal schedule and are dealing with a lot of fear and uncertainty that’s making it hard to concentrate on the work in front of you! It’s a huge adjustment and we’re all understandably struggling with it (but it’s prob not ADD) #theellery #mentalhealthmatters #adhd

This post felt impossible to write. Grief is hard to talk about and no one wants to say the wrong thing, which usually means we say nothing at all. I don’t know if these were the right words to say but I hope this attempt starts conversations for those who feel like they don’t have the language to talk about #grief and #loss Link in bio ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ #theellery #mentalhealthmatters

How I plan to spend #blackhistorymonth Reading black books and black books only. And Heavy by @kieselaymon is a perfect way to start. And it is ‘heavy’ to say the least. His memoir runs the gamut of the types of pain that black people and black bodies endure but I think this is the first book I’ve read that includes a black man exhibiting disordered eating. These narratives are SO important because when we talk #eatingdisorders we tend to default to anorexia and the obsessive ballerina. Meanwhile #ednos is SO much more than that. BED or binge eating disorder is the most common #eatingdisorder and characterized by not being able to control eating large amounts of food at once. Up to 40% of people seeking weight loss treatment can be clinically dx’d with BED. Thank you for your narrative @kieselaymon and for helping fight the stigma around mental health. #theellery #noshamenostigma #mentalhealthmatters #ednos #blackbooks #blackauthors #blackwriting #blacknarratives

Wrote some words for those who need them. Linked in Bio or TheEllery.com/kobebryant #theellery #ripkobe

This means people, jobs, cities and situations. But for some reason people don’t acknowledge how difficult it is to cut off family members. Or quit. Or move. So I’ll preface this advice with this: protect yourself and your energy until you get that opportunity to extract yourself from what doesn’t serve you. Remember that it’s temporary and there’s no shame in making a plan first. Do it in your time and in your own way. #theellery #mentalhealthmatters ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ 📸by @blcksmth @amberruffin

I came I read I conquered 📚 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ Crushed my goal of 100 books last year. What did I learn? Probably won’t look to stuff 100 books into 365 days any time soon. Too many words, too little time. As a research analyst I’m all about the #data and tracking so I’m letting my 2019 book list (link in bio!) inform my goals for 2020. This 113 book journey taught me that I want to read more #blackauthors more #fiction and more physical books. What are some titles I need to add to my must read list? 🤓 #theellery #bookstagram #goodreads

Self-advocacy•the action of representing oneself’s views or interest 🧵 by @badasscrossstitch ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ You’d think in being a mental health advocate I’d find it easy to advocate for myself (I wish). But just like everything else that’s important in life, they don’t teach you how to do this in school. Self advocacy is SO important to practice, because we deserve to be the one’s in the driver’s seat of our lives. In the same way that doctors, professors, and other authorities are experts in their field, remember that you’re the World’s Leading Expert in You. If you don’t feel that way, then spend some time getting to know yourself- your needs, wants, desires, dreams. Then understand the rights that you have as a human person in this world. You deserve to have your pain, safety, dreams, career, everything, taken seriously. But since that’s not the reality for most, advocate for yourself (and others!) early, and often. Maybe we can get a little more out of this life #theellery #advocacy #selfadvocacy #MLK

One of my 2020 goals is to read more physical books. Last year I read a ton, and it was achievable in part because of the convenience factor. No matter where I was I’d have easy access to e-books and audiobooks on my phone and my kindle fits in my parka pocket. But this year I want to read with intention- and get back the ability to put down my phone and justlose myself in a good story. I also want to read through all the gorgeous hardcovers that I’ve bought and haven’t read yet, meaning I’ll finally be reading @Kieslelaymon @eve.ewing @roxanegay74 @tressiemcphd and @wellreadblackgirl . But first, #queenie by @candicec_w #theellery #wellreadblackgirl #bookstagram

“People who are outed feel blindsided and forced to reveal a deeply personal part of their identity without their consent and under someone else’s terms. Coming out is a process and can be a difficult time for someone because of discrimination, homophobia, or potential marginalization from their families and community at large. People must choose for themselves how and when to come out.”- @thetaskforce ✨✨✨✨ ✨✨✨✨ @nikkietutorials was being blackmailed by someone threatening to out her by being #trans . Transphobia and homophobia is still alive and well, so not only is outing someone a MAJOR violation of their privacy, it can be incredibly dangerous. Many members of the LGBTQ community can face loss of relationships, jobs, healthcare, and overall safety when outed. So while @nikkietutorials is handling this with beauty + grace, let’s not forget that this didn’t happen on her terms and that’s pretty f*cked up #theellery #mentalhealthmatters

Happy and joyful ✨✨✨✨ Have you ever considered the difference? Happiness is caused by things and events, external stuff. Joy is something intentional and comes from within. It comes with sitting in and recognizing the little things. The things that are so easy to rush past when you’re running through life. It takes practice but you can start at anytime. And @mariekondo says ‘things’ count so this hat is my #joyoftheday #theellery #joyful

Hi!

Jun 5 Self Care in the Time of Revolution (& Pandemic)

Physical

Emotional

Occupational

Jun 2 To My Non-Black Friends