MMM Whatchya Say — The Ellery

Mar 30

Mar 30 MMM Whatchya Say

You know that voice that keeps a running commentary throughout your day? That personal Morgan Freeman that narrates your every thought? While it’s easy to forget or ignore, this convo that you’re constantly having with yourself has a lot of power over how you see yourself and the world around you. A lot of what we say to ourselves is the same messages stuck on repeat and unfortunately, since it’s a product of all of your emotional baggage, it can often be kind of a b*tch. My third grade teacher told me I was bad at math and I can trace an entire lifetime of mathematical struggle to 2003 (Thanks a lot Mrs.L!). Negative self-talk is like inviting your most toxic frenemy into your head- THEY don’t want to see you succeed and are putting road blocks at every turn. Negativity is the THEY that DJ Khaled is referring to when he says “THEY don’t want you to succeed”. The good news is, now that you’re aware that you’re being like, super mean to yourself, you can start changing it.

· Write it down- Positivity is a practice so it will take a bit of work, day by day. As a part of your nightly routine, take a minute to write down 3 positive things that happened. It may be difficult at first but after a few days your brain will start focusing on those happy moments so it’s easier to recall at night!

· Man-tra in the mirror- Pick a mantra and start your day by repeating it a few times in the mirror. It doesn’t have to be long or particularly poignant, it’s just a reminder to yourself to keep pushing and live your best life. My personal favorite? “You’re a boss, you’re a don, you’re a legend, you’re a mogul, you’re self-made #wetheBEST”

· Put it in a playlist- In my humble opinion, there are very few problems that a well curated Beyoncé playlist can’t fix. Still beating yourself up at that mistake your boss pointed out three days ago?? Press play and get your thoughts in formation.

· Repair and replace- After all of this work you’ve done to change what you’re saying to yourself, now it’s time to focus on what negativity you’re getting from others. Just because Negative Nancy wants to wallow in her own misery, doesn’t mean you have to too. Protect your soul at all costs.

After a few days of pumping your mind full of positivity, you’ll begin to see the world a little differently. Instead of barriers and road blocks, you’ll start seeing open doors and crowds cheering you on. If you’re convinced that your life is amazing and is only going to get better, it has no choice but to agree. If things get tough and your mental Negative Nancy comes back to say “No we can’t” channel your Obama to say “Yes We Can”.

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My face when my coworker says he’s feeling ‘so ADD right now’.🙄 This happened a month ago but I see a lot of people saying it now that they’re working from home. Having ADHD means SO much more than not being able to concentrate. 💩, I wish that was my only problem 😭. Fun Fact: There is a movement to rename ADHD/ADD to Executive Function Disorder which encompasses way more symptoms of ADHD that people forget about. Like low impulse control, disorganization, trouble planning and prioritizing, low frustration tolerance, rejection sensitivity, hyper focus, etc etc. So if you’re struggling with #WFH consider its because you’ve thrown out of your normal schedule and are dealing with a lot of fear and uncertainty that’s making it hard to concentrate on the work in front of you! It’s a huge adjustment and we’re all understandably struggling with it (but it’s prob not ADD) #theellery #mentalhealthmatters #adhd

This post felt impossible to write. Grief is hard to talk about and no one wants to say the wrong thing, which usually means we say nothing at all. I don’t know if these were the right words to say but I hope this attempt starts conversations for those who feel like they don’t have the language to talk about #grief and #loss Link in bio ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ #theellery #mentalhealthmatters

How I plan to spend #blackhistorymonth Reading black books and black books only. And Heavy by @kieselaymon is a perfect way to start. And it is ‘heavy’ to say the least. His memoir runs the gamut of the types of pain that black people and black bodies endure but I think this is the first book I’ve read that includes a black man exhibiting disordered eating. These narratives are SO important because when we talk #eatingdisorders we tend to default to anorexia and the obsessive ballerina. Meanwhile #ednos is SO much more than that. BED or binge eating disorder is the most common #eatingdisorder and characterized by not being able to control eating large amounts of food at once. Up to 40% of people seeking weight loss treatment can be clinically dx’d with BED. Thank you for your narrative @kieselaymon and for helping fight the stigma around mental health. #theellery #noshamenostigma #mentalhealthmatters #ednos #blackbooks #blackauthors #blackwriting #blacknarratives

Wrote some words for those who need them. Linked in Bio or TheEllery.com/kobebryant #theellery #ripkobe

This means people, jobs, cities and situations. But for some reason people don’t acknowledge how difficult it is to cut off family members. Or quit. Or move. So I’ll preface this advice with this: protect yourself and your energy until you get that opportunity to extract yourself from what doesn’t serve you. Remember that it’s temporary and there’s no shame in making a plan first. Do it in your time and in your own way. #theellery #mentalhealthmatters ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ 📸by @blcksmth @amberruffin

I came I read I conquered 📚 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ Crushed my goal of 100 books last year. What did I learn? Probably won’t look to stuff 100 books into 365 days any time soon. Too many words, too little time. As a research analyst I’m all about the #data and tracking so I’m letting my 2019 book list (link in bio!) inform my goals for 2020. This 113 book journey taught me that I want to read more #blackauthors more #fiction and more physical books. What are some titles I need to add to my must read list? 🤓 #theellery #bookstagram #goodreads

Self-advocacy•the action of representing oneself’s views or interest 🧵 by @badasscrossstitch ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ You’d think in being a mental health advocate I’d find it easy to advocate for myself (I wish). But just like everything else that’s important in life, they don’t teach you how to do this in school. Self advocacy is SO important to practice, because we deserve to be the one’s in the driver’s seat of our lives. In the same way that doctors, professors, and other authorities are experts in their field, remember that you’re the World’s Leading Expert in You. If you don’t feel that way, then spend some time getting to know yourself- your needs, wants, desires, dreams. Then understand the rights that you have as a human person in this world. You deserve to have your pain, safety, dreams, career, everything, taken seriously. But since that’s not the reality for most, advocate for yourself (and others!) early, and often. Maybe we can get a little more out of this life #theellery #advocacy #selfadvocacy #MLK

One of my 2020 goals is to read more physical books. Last year I read a ton, and it was achievable in part because of the convenience factor. No matter where I was I’d have easy access to e-books and audiobooks on my phone and my kindle fits in my parka pocket. But this year I want to read with intention- and get back the ability to put down my phone and justlose myself in a good story. I also want to read through all the gorgeous hardcovers that I’ve bought and haven’t read yet, meaning I’ll finally be reading @Kieslelaymon @eve.ewing @roxanegay74 @tressiemcphd and @wellreadblackgirl . But first, #queenie by @candicec_w #theellery #wellreadblackgirl #bookstagram

“People who are outed feel blindsided and forced to reveal a deeply personal part of their identity without their consent and under someone else’s terms. Coming out is a process and can be a difficult time for someone because of discrimination, homophobia, or potential marginalization from their families and community at large. People must choose for themselves how and when to come out.”- @thetaskforce ✨✨✨✨ ✨✨✨✨ @nikkietutorials was being blackmailed by someone threatening to out her by being #trans . Transphobia and homophobia is still alive and well, so not only is outing someone a MAJOR violation of their privacy, it can be incredibly dangerous. Many members of the LGBTQ community can face loss of relationships, jobs, healthcare, and overall safety when outed. So while @nikkietutorials is handling this with beauty + grace, let’s not forget that this didn’t happen on her terms and that’s pretty f*cked up #theellery #mentalhealthmatters

Happy and joyful ✨✨✨✨ Have you ever considered the difference? Happiness is caused by things and events, external stuff. Joy is something intentional and comes from within. It comes with sitting in and recognizing the little things. The things that are so easy to rush past when you’re running through life. It takes practice but you can start at anytime. And @mariekondo says ‘things’ count so this hat is my #joyoftheday #theellery #joyful

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